A Year of Quiet, aka Lessons in Isolation
First and foremost, I want to emphasize the utter importance of staying informed and taking your health and the health of others seriously. Period.
I have the luxury of working in the news (which, admittedly, can get exhausting), and a science reporter as my sibling, who has been on the coronavirus beat for over the past few months. I trust her and her concerns. I am also lucky to have a handful of friends who work on infectious disease research and response for the CDC—I trust them and their concerns. That access to information doesn’t raise my anxiety so much as make me feel informed and prepared. However, I fully recognize how dire and scary this all feels. Frankly, it feels that way because the reach and reality of this pandemic is indeed scary.
My office moved quickly last week to setting us up to work from home, and for that I am deeply grateful. I spent most of the weekend indoors, save a few runs and some fresh air, and a quick stop at my local cafe for coffee-to go (support your neighbors and tip well, y’all.) As Americans, it’s been a while since social solidarity was asked, let alone required of us. I can’t remember a moment in my lifetime that felt as dire in regards to personal responsibility. But, we can find a new normal in balancing being isolated and practicing social distancing, while also staying sane and staving off the stir crazy. I think it is possible to be diligent about self-isolating, and vigilant in our social distancing, and still find ways to connect, to support, to find joy, even if that means remotely.
Strangely, I feel more prepared for self-isolation than I ever have in my life, and I realized this weekend that my year of quiet in rural Japan taught me a lot about how to manage limited social contact and a uniquely singular life. I figured there’s no time like a pandemic to share a few things that kept me sane:
Remember that internet is the friend of the curious and the enemy of the anxious.
What a time to be alive! There is more access to real time information than ever before. This is gift, and at times, a trap. Know when to unplug, and definitely know when to stop checking Twitter. Delete some apps off of your phone (Instagram, Facebook, Hinge, etc) for the weekend and enjoy reclaiming some of your mental space. (Plus coronavirus-inspired pick-up lines are eye-roll worthy at best.) When I would find myself deep into Instagram scrolls with no end in sight, that was usually time to delete the app for a week or so to break the habit.
Set your expectations.
Consider this a marathon, and not a sprint, and adjust your mindset accordingly. We should be thinking of this in months, not weeks. It’s helpful to consider this in the long haul and not just a temporary inconvenience.
Go for walks, long ones when time allows, particularly if you can avoid crowded areas.
I usually ended my day with a sunset walk through the rice fields near my apartment and it was a regular time to reset and get some fresh air that now I often miss. I certainly take for granted how nice a short stint in the sun can be. Don’t forget to look up at the sky or take some picture of flowers if it pleases you. Send them to friends who are self-isolating in colder climates (looking at you, Chicago.) While I had access to a car in Japan and used it often to explore other parts of the prefecture like national parks, I recommend walking around your neighborhood if it’s somewhere you feel safe. It’s going to be tempting to pack up on the weekends and hit the trails, but something to keep in mind is the amount of people who could be at risk by you visiting their communities (Katie Boue outlined those concerns perfectly here.) Check out local parks and trails as you’re able.
Create some structure.
Outside of being able to live abroad, my teaching schedule allowed me to reclaim many of my daylight hours (something I had little of in my previous job.) I don’t consider myself a particularly disciplined person, but I wanted to make the most of this time. An easy thing I tried to adhere to was doing 3 things every day: something creative, something educational, and something active. The categories were purposefully broad – physical, for example, could be anything from a run to stretching while watching Netflix – and it helped to have daily, achievable goals.
But also, allow yourself some rest.
WFH and self isolation are certainly not the same thing as a vacation. However, especially with the world feeling like it’s ending, it’s ok to not need to be productive (after office hours, of course.) Lean into binging tv shows, taking long baths or reading books, diving back into the world of Sims. It’s ok to seek out comfort right now, because…
Isolation can be painful!
Loneliness is real. And if you’re the kind of person who needs to share physical space with people, this adjustment may be particularly uncomfortable. But it doesn’t last forever, and in 2020 there are so many ways to stay connect and close to the folks you care about. On that note…
If you’re feeling panicky, anxious, stressed - talk about it.
Reach out to people you trust and share where you’re at. If you need support, now is as good a time as any to ask for it. For alternatives, consider starting a journal, recording voice memos, making videos, if only for yourself, to talk through those thoughts and stop them from occupying precious brain space. Speaking of videos…
Send your friends dance videos, or schedule a GoogleHang and have solo dance parties, together.
When I lived in Japan there were some nights that my beloved apartment felt not just sparse, but empty; in those times that I felt particularly distanced from my friends and life back in the US, I started sending these dance videos to select folks on Instagram. It was silly (still is tbh) and yet very much helped to keep me sane and connected to people I love. Dancing around my apartment was a good way to save me from my melancholy self, and now is kind of a necessity during quarantine times, to shake off some of that excess energy and loosen up some of the stir crazy. Another great option is tuning into groups like Dance Church, who have taken their weekly gathering online and available for streaming.
On the topic of GoogleHangouts…
Throw some on your calendar! Make it weekly, make it daily, make them random. I am convinced that my Groupchat of high school pals played a large part in me tolerating the weight of isolation as a foreigner; WhatsApp with and Instagram messenger acted as lifelines when it came to feeling connection with my people back home.
Not sure where to start? Host a quarantine happy hour where everyone calls in at the same time with their beverage of choice! Start a Netflix viewing party! Make a free account on Tabletopia and play board games against your friends remotely! Drop into a yoga studio’s remote session! Start an online bookclub! If you’re musically inclined, go live on Instagram and let folks tune in! It’s no stand-in for IRL social time, but I can say after moving around a number of times, it’s actually pretty incredible how many ways there are to hangout from afar.
Revisit your internal project list.
What is something you haven’t been able to get to in your regular life because of daily commitments like work? Reading the stack of books by your bed? Baking the best bread humanly possible? Learning another language? Having a project (or 5) to chip away at during my time abroad helped me to feel productive and take pride in accomplishing something. There’s so many great online (often free) resources for learning new things. I like to rely on Skillshare for prompts, but recently have purchased a few classes through Moment to learn more about mobile filmmaking. That being said, I’d also be careful not to fall into the trap of turning everything into work. Don’t put more pressure on yourself than needed right now. If there’s room to chip away at personal projects, be they anything from self portraits or cross-stitch, take the time to find some pleasure in creating. Oh yeah, and do update your damn website (me, to me.)
An additional list of thoughts in no particular order:
Make a collaborative playlists
Check in on your freelance friends
(help them out financially if and when you can, promote their work, buy their merch, shoot them a Venmo, a PayPal, a CashApp.)
Deep clean your place!
Consume podcasts like it’s your job.
Finally clear the open tabs on your browser window (wishful thinking)
Do your taxes!
Annoying, but hey, if you’ve got the time.
Tour a museum digitally
It’s been so rad to see how institutions are shifting to enable people to still patron their halls.
StoryCorps!
If you’re already cooped up with folks - family or roommates or partners– take the time to get to know them in a way you usually don’t
Send snail mail!
Participate in Instagram challenges or prompts
I’m a fan of #DrawThisInYourStyle for illustration projects, but I really like @rockthatmuseumgirl’s idea of posting art we’ve seen and tagging them #throwbackmuseum since so many art institutions and public spaces are closed right now.
On a community note…
Donate to food banks! Blood banks! Buy local gift cards to use later or see if your favorite spots are doing pickup or to-go options! Support your neighborhood any way you can, while staying safe, and more than anything, be kind. As a wise art director reminded us on Instagram this week: “everyone is fighting their own battles. be mindful & grateful for what you have”
Ok, enough rambling from me. Till next time, y’all ✌🏻